S2EP29-Mykal Olson-Hope on the Horizon: Michael's Mission to Save Families from Addiction

Herb: 00:00:19

Today I have the pleasure of introducing Mykal Olson. Mykal is guiding fathers to conquer addiction and save their families. I want to stop destroying my life and family, but I just don't know how.

This haunting question remained unanswered for Michael until it was too late. Yet he transformed his darkest hours into a mission of hope and change for other families. Michael didn't just recover.

He transformed his experience into a source of hope and strengthened for those who still struggle to find answers.

When he's not coaching or delivering inspirational speeches, Michael cherishes family moments and dreams of one day sailing around the globe, spreading his message of creative transformation. Welcome, Michael. It is a pleasure to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Mykal Olson: 00:01:06

Thank you very much, my friends. I am happy to be here.

Kristina: 00:01:10

It is so awesome to have you with us. And you. You know, it's really important that we talk about these things with our families for our fathers to really think and answer that question.

How can I change my ways if for some reason I'm the cause of the family dynamics being broken apart or the mom, you know, whoever's in. In that space asking that question is so important. So thank you for helping parents, helping dads find that way to answer that question.

So my first question is passion. Why this passion? We talked about a little bit in your bio, but go a little bit deeper.

Was there one pivotal that really just shifted everything said, you know what? I really want to make a difference by sharing this with other people.

Mykal Olson: 00:01:52

Yes.

And there was one specific point, and it was a deep, dark hole because I found myself sitting in prison because of the addictions that I had and did not find the answers to. I decided I needed to help other fathers to avoid that situation so they don't have to look their kids in the eye and have them ask, what happened?

Why did this happen? Why did you not stop it or change it? Incredibly difficult conversation to have, if you can even get them into a conversation.

Because the problem that happens is a trust is broken once you get to that point. So you have to try and save it before that. And that's why I wanted to do this particular mission.

Herb: 00:02:54

Right. So I can understand getting to that point of needing to make that change for yourself and.

And taking that step, because I've been in darkness at times, too. And that step is. Is pretty, pretty hard, but it's the best step you'll ever take in your life.

But then you went even a step farther and you decided to then help other people, maybe even, well, get out of it. But maybe Even avoid it again. Where. Where was that point taken?

Because it's like, it's one thing to just like, okay, I'm gonna fix me, but now it's like, where did you get. The inspiration Is like, okay, man, I need to help other people with this too.

Mykal Olson: 00:03:43

I guess for me, it came through with, I can fix myself, but does that really make up for the damage that I caused?

Not really, because I have this feeling inside that when I look at my children, do I want them to remember me for what I did then or for what I have been able to do since then? And it should drastically improve their.

But remembrance of me if I can help other people to avoid those situations, that kind of makes the sacrifice a little easier to handle because more good will come out of it as a result than the damage that was done.

Herb: 00:04:47

So there's a. There's also a lot of hidden addiction in families right now where it hasn't got to the point where it's super obviously destroying anything.

But, you know, you can kind of tell it's getting there. How do you reach out to the men? What do you tell them? What message do you want? So if.

If we have a family that is really trying, but you know that that struggle is real. And so what do you have to tell somebody who's in that struggle and hasn't got to the.

To the bottom yet and might not necessarily want to get there, because sometimes you have to get to the bottom to start climbing. But if we can break that, how do you. What message do you want there?

Mykal Olson: 00:05:35

This is a lot of the struggle of what I'm trying to do is we men have this issue where we want to handle it ourselves. We don't want to reach out and ask for help. We don't want to admit to having a problem or looking weak. So how do you.

How do you reach out and inspire people to begin the change? Because as you were talking about, don't wait until you hit the bottom. Well, the bottom is wherever you decide to establish it.

So if you can look at yourself today and say, I can feel inside that something is not right. I'm going to change it today. And as you start that process, you can establish the bottom as being something nowhere near as deep and dark as.

As what other people have waited until they get to.

And one of the things I have to talk about is, okay, you have a feeling that something's not right, Great, let's have a conversation, find out what those are. And then those of us that have experience with it can say Here are the danger signs. Here's what you're experiencing. Let's have that conversation.

And that's why I have the business that I have, and I have books, free books that I can offer, which talk about those issues. And even a free community where you can get in and start talking to other people about it.

The primary thing is avoid the isolation that addiction creates and get into what I call brotherhood and talk with other people who may be going through it that will not judge you because they've gone through it, too.

Kristina: 00:07:38

Yeah, I love that. And that, you know, that community, that support is so important in our work that we do.

We work with homeschool families and families who feel isolated because, oh, well, we're not, quote, unquote, the normal.

Mykal Olson: 00:07:48

Right.

Kristina: 00:07:48

We're not in the public schools and things like that and that same kind of thing. Those families need support and they need encouragement and. Exactly.

When you're trying something new or you're trying something different than what you've been doing your whole life or what maybe your parents modeled for you.

Mykal Olson: 00:08:03

Right.

Kristina: 00:08:04

You absolutely need that support. And so, cheers. Thank you for having that space and helping fathers who are looking for that next step and helping somebody do something new. Love it.

Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:08:16

And one of the great things about starting that is you can learn the process for getting yourself out of it and you can teach your children how to avoid getting into it. And so we can break the cycle of the child learns from the parent and carries on that same tradition.

Herb: 00:08:38

Generational trauma.

Mykal Olson: 00:08:40

Yes, exactly.

Kristina: 00:08:42

Yeah. And that's part, you know, like. Like you were saying, is that it's that role modeling.

Is that doing something different so they can see that difference. Yeah. So, you know, jumping back to your story a little bit, have you been able to make amends with your children? A little bit. How did that go?

And, you know, let us know if it's not quite the right time to talk about it yet.

Mykal Olson: 00:09:01

But, yeah, I'm happy to talk about any of it because people need to understand things are never perfect. You're always working to improve. I have made improvements with my children. Is it where I'd want it to be?

Not yet, but I'm going to continue to work on it and make improvements in it, and that's enough for me, is that progress is being made.

Kristina: 00:09:33

I love that. Yeah, exactly. It's every new endeavor. Right. Is it always where. Is it where you want it to be? Not quite, but yeah.

The dedication of you wanting to get it there and move forward, and hopefully, you know, your children are seeing that as well as like, dad is changing. He has done some things are different and he does want something different. Yeah.

Herb: 00:09:53

So I'm going to give you a little bit of my story here. I hurt my head. So I was in corporate America. I got into entrepreneurship. I started my own business.

I was becoming successful and I had been hurting my head and I didn't realize how bad. And then I had a really bad crash and that kind of complicated everything and my life really fell apart and I got into. I went really dark as well.

What helped me through that was actually an addiction and an alcoholism recovery along with psychedelic integration program. So I went through a coaching program called Being true to you. And that, that brought me over that edge.

Brain damage is a little bit different than, than addiction.

The, the similarities are, are incredible and fascinating, but there's, there's certain things that it's like, okay, if you stop taking the drugs, your brain goes back into cohesion a little easier than mine is. So my recovery is still going on years now. So I understand that darkness. I understand the recovery. And pretty.

How did you start what was again with the recovery part? So there's a decision, but then there is the practicality of moving into that decision. How did you move into that decision?

What did your recovery look like? How did you. How did you do it? Because so many people want to, but then that how just escapes them. So how did you do it?

And how can other people maybe. So maybe other people can. Can follow your how.

Mykal Olson: 00:11:47

The first step before anything else can happen is you have to recognize that you are who you are because of every choice that you've made. It's not anyone else's fault. Doesn't matter what happened to you. You assign what it means mentally.

You assign, why did I make the decision to continue doing what I did?

When you can take complete responsibility for where you are in your life, no matter where it is, you then realize in that moment, well, if I'm the cause of where I'm at and what I've done, I have full authority to change my decisions. I can change my perceptions, I can even change my character to match with how I want to be in the future.

So that first thing, recognition of your power over everything.

Kristina: 00:13:06

Love it. Yes. And that's, you know, something to model by speaking about it with your children. Right.

As you're making that decision, you know, age appropriately, talk about it. You know, I don't like how I feel when this happens.

So I'm going to work really hard to change and do something different or I don't like how I feel when I'm not. Not with you. So I'm going to change and do something different so I can feel better about being with you and supporting you and supporting me.

So, yeah, that role modeling and that. Making that decision and helping your children understand. Super, super important. Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:13:38

Right. So with me, I was sitting in prison.

I had committed a crime to get there, but I'd also been convicted of a crime I didn't commit because I put myself in the situation to be blamed for something I didn't commit. So even that transition. Yep. It's all my fault because of my choices to be in that situation that happened. So all of a sudden, this.

This anger, this bitterness I had inside, and then I could start the process of creatively improving my life.

Herb: 00:14:23

Now, here's an interesting kind of a question because. And this is one of the.

I think one of the places where the brain damage and the addiction vary a little bit, because I have got to a place where I have made that decision and I have changed my life and I have moved in certain directions and then have had it crumble and feel like I had made no progress and was back where I started. And it feels like everything that I did was just a waste of time. And how. How do you pick yourself up? What do you do when it's like.

Mykal Olson: 00:14:58

Or.

Herb: 00:14:59

Or in the. It's like, oh, I made this decision. I'm good, I'm done. I made the decision. But things don't change there. Where. What's the. What's the process?

So again, taking that radical responsibility of your life, and then how do you keep that moving so that you don't falter because. Or that if you do falter, you can keep. You can pick up yourself up quicker.

Mykal Olson: 00:15:25

Let me try to tell you a little story as to how I got to the. That point where I could do that. As I was sitting there in prison, I was listening to a recorded motivational speech.

You know, the kind where we're telling our sports people how to improve their performance and they're shouting at you and they're telling you, you gotta grind every day. My response was not motivation. I was ticked off because I had ground my life into the dirt.

My understanding of grinding is it's a destructive process. When you think about grinding metal, it's the ripping away of material until you shape that material.

Kristina: 00:16:25

Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:16:27

And at that moment, this vision that I had of a medieval forge, where you take metal, stick it in fire until it's white hot, then you mold it and Shape it into the art that you have in your mind. So I saw the addictions that I decided to do is a destructive process.

I had to recognize the destructive processes that I was choosing to do and change to a creative process that improved me. So when we look at those decisions, we have to analyze it, evaluate it and say, is this destructive or creative? Choose creative processes.

Herb: 00:17:29

It's a really lovely way to look at it.

Kristina: 00:17:31

Yes, absolutely. So we got step one, step two, what's kind of the next part after that? We've made this decision. We're taking responsibility.

How do we fill our life with the good stuff that helps replace that bad stuff so that we don't maybe fall back?

Mykal Olson: 00:17:50

That's when you have to design the vision of you. And I want, I want parents to teach this to their children. You have the choice to make yourself into whoever you want to be.

Many of us have no idea how we came up with what our character is. Did we just watch our parents do it and take that on? Because that's a decision, that's a choice I accept.

That's my parents character that could be mine. No, you can change any characteristic that you have and replace it with a better one. So you have to come up with that vision.

Who do I want to be, who do I admire? And what characteristics does that person have that I admire? And then I will take that on myself.

And then you go into the forge and you for mold yourself into that.

Herb: 00:19:09

That's again really beautiful. I kind of come at it with a personality, with the personality explanation. So it's like there's so many different personality tools.

The one that I kind of understand the most is the Meyer Briggs type Index, the MBTI and the four letter code. So like I'm an INFJ kind of a thing.

So what helped me start rebuilding my life when I finally decided my life was worth living again, I started looking at my personality and it made sense on how I reacted to different things that happened in my life. And it's like, oh, that's my default processing.

That's how when, when stuff gets stressful, if I don't have a plan that's defaultedly how I'm going to react to these situations. And so it's like, okay. Then the next time that situation came up, I could feel my default kicking in.

And it's like, okay, this is my default reaction. Is that who I am? Am I my default? And it's like I want to be better than this reaction.

So I was able to start building my character using My personality as the baseline, it's like, okay, I'm going to react this way because of my personality. So that means for me to build my character, I have to change this personality. It doesn't mean that that's going to go away.

It's always going to be my personality, but I have to build character on top of it. Does that make sense?

Mykal Olson: 00:20:39

Yes. And one of the things that I discovered as I was developing my process. How do you do that?

Because when you're thinking consciously, you're using the part of your brain where you're making decisions through mental exercise. But our reactions come from the subconscious mind where all those characteristics live within us.

So when we decide, I want to change my personality, I want to change my character, you. You have to secure into the subconscious mind where your beliefs and your identity live so that your responses are different.

Herb: 00:21:32

Yeah. And you got to do it. Your.

Mykal Olson: 00:21:34

Your conscious mental images are different than often what your subconscious mind is. You've got to get them aligned.

Herb: 00:21:44

Oh, hopefully I didn't make what I said sound easy. It was not easy. It. It took. It took months of just recognizing it. It's like, oh, hey. And then.

Then finally after, it's like, oh, hey, I'm recognizing it early enough. Can I change it ahead of time? It's not a simple thing to change your person or to change your character. Yeah, it is.

Mykal Olson: 00:22:08

It is work. Very difficult work.

Herb: 00:22:12

And that's. You know, when people talk about the work to. You have to do on yourself, that's what they're talking about.

It's these little tiny changes that take months and months to make.

Mykal Olson: 00:22:22

Right. But there are some supporting factors that can help you in that process. And. And one of them that we get down to is your environment.

You get people around you that support the environment that you want to have, that supports the character and the beliefs that you want, that helps you in the process of reminding you and reprogramming that mind, that subconscious mind, to be able to do it. Case in point, when I got out of prison, I was 53 years old. The state gave me $265, and I don't come back. Now. I had no job, no career.

I had no wife and family to go home to. My mother and my sister lived in other states.

The state offered me to stay at a halfway house, but that put me right back in with the people that were in the addiction cycle.

Kristina: 00:23:37

Yeah. Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:23:40

So the conscious decision I made is I would live on the street for a year. But I also, on a weekly basis, I went to a group, a toastmasters group where people were learning how to improve themselves every single week.

And being around those people and not around the people that we're continuing to use made a huge difference in my being able to stay away from those things and move towards the things that I wanted to do.

Herb: 00:24:21

Yep, kudos. Meeting with those people in person seriously is the best way.

But if, if you can't meet with the people in person, then there are online groups and some of my, some of my most heartfelt mentors that have helped me the most. I have never met them in my life. I've watched videos, I've read their books, I've got into their message and.

And again, it was about that self improvement, about, about more to life, about greater purpose.

Mykal Olson: 00:24:54

And so that's why I offer online courses. Online coaching.

The community that you can go to online and be a part of is giving you an ability to surround yourself with people that are going to encourage you, support you, help you through it.

Herb: 00:25:14

Yeah, I turned my corner probably about four years ago and I joined that community of coaches in, in being true to you that, that the psycho, spiritual and addiction recovery coaches. And to this day I am at we meetings with them almost weekly.

And it's not about me and it's, it's just being in that group and continuing to be around those people and working with them helps me settle and, and creates a space for me to continue to be. Okay.

Because if I'm not around those people for too long, then the voices and the record loops and the spiraling and the, the blah blah, blah nonsense starts going crazy and the isolation, like seems like it's a really good idea and then it gets darker and quieter and so even if it's not about me and even if I don't say anything, I go to these meetings weekly just because it helps me understand that these other people are, are going through similar things and I'm not alone. And even, even if nobody's exactly like me, I'm still not alone because they're having the exact same problems from their point of view.

And it, it so they, it keeps me alive and grounded in, in a very.

Kristina: 00:26:37

Yeah, way.

Herb: 00:26:38

Way.

Mykal Olson: 00:26:38

Yes. And this is important too.

This is great for us as individuals, but it's just as important that our spouses, our children, our parents, our family members see us doing it because it provides examples for other people.

Herb: 00:27:03

And you're going to be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. It hurts sometimes when I'm out doing the things that I need to take care of myself. It's like.

Hurts how much I have to take care of myself where I didn't used to. But if I don't, then things get bad. And so that. That embarrassment sometimes tries to make me stop. So, you know, got to be real with these people.

It's. It's gonna suck. It's gonna suck, but it's worth it.

Mykal Olson: 00:27:36

You have to be real. You have to be honest. Because that's part of the transition that you're making.

And it's the best example that you can give is when things don't go the way that you want them or expect them or anything like that. Here is what you have to do to conquer it. And I have.

It may seem like it's very easy for me to have this conversation, but I've been having this conversation over a decade.

Kristina: 00:28:09

Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:28:11

My talking about it is what's helping me get through it. Even helping other people with it, even.

Herb: 00:28:19

10 years later, it's important. Yeah. Even 10 years later, just talking, it's like it settles. It helps. And for all those people out there who are embarrassed, who.

Who think they're alone, it's like finding out and being able to talk about it, it's embarrassing. It hurts. But now I can talk about it. Now Michael talks about it. And we're trying to help out and reach out and help other people.

Because yet, as much as you think it sucks right now, and it's embarrassing. We got through that, and we're telling you it's worth it.

Mykal Olson: 00:28:56

And one of the things that you can recognize that you have a problem is if you're hiding it. It's one of the earmarks of having addiction issues or something else that's not going well is if you hide it from people.

It's something you have to address.

Kristina: 00:29:18

Yeah. You got gotta look at that inside.

Herb: 00:29:21

Yeah. We went to a wedding in Lake Tahoe. And that's when I realized they had a gambling problem. Because I kept everything I was doing.

And as soon as the wedding was over, as soon as we were driving out of town, I looked at Christine and I was like, okay, I have a gambling problem. And I didn't tell you what happened this weekend. And I spent almost all of our money. And you're gonna find out about it really soon.

And I need to not do this again, so you need to watch me. So again, it was like I didn't know I had one. And it was like. And I kept it secret. And it was like, oh, this is not good at all.

Mykal Olson: 00:29:56

Yeah.

So that's one of the things I really encourage when I'm giving a speech or I'm doing a podcast or in the book that, the free book that I'm offering, that's what I talk about is those things that show up, like hiding the issue.

Herb: 00:30:17

Yes.

Kristina: 00:30:18

And think about this as a parent. Right. If you're in that mode and you're trying to hide, believe it or not, it's not really hidden.

Your spouse, if they know you well, lots of times they'll pick up on something. Your children, even though they're very self centered. Oh, I'm thinking about only me, they know, they get this sense. I call it a spidey sense.

Mykal Olson: 00:30:38

Right.

Kristina: 00:30:38

The kids kind of know. They know there's something underlying under me, that something's not quite right.

So instead of hiding it from them, especially if you're in that space where you can start talking about an age appropriate way, start saying, oh, I have this issue and this is what I'm doing to fix it, or this is what I'm doing to change it. Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:30:58

Now if, if we want to talk to parents.

Kristina: 00:31:01

Yes.

Mykal Olson: 00:31:02

About education, one of the things you have to talk about with your children is this subject.

If you have something that you're doing that you're hiding, it's critically important to share it with people that you love and trust so that they can help you with it.

Because so often kids that wind up in addiction and there's a ton of them, they're doing it and hiding it from the people that they love, the people that are capable of helping them with it.

Kristina: 00:31:43

Yeah, exactly. Thank you for saying that. Absolutely. Make sure that we're training our children or teaching our children.

It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to get help. Like you said, if you're hiding something, that's a key indicator. Get some help.

Get somebody you know, like, and trust that you can really get some help with. Yeah.

Herb: 00:32:02

And, and most people don't have to be told what they're doing is wrong. They, they kind of know it.

And if you know it and you're ignoring that within you, then it gets easier and easier to ignore that thing until it actually does become a serious problem, whether. Whatever it is. So it's like Jordan Peterson says, again, one of my favorite mentors for me is like, is stop doing what you know is wrong.

And that, that is just.

Mykal Olson: 00:32:34

But it's often harder than just that.

Herb: 00:32:37

It, it's simple, but it is not always easy.

Mykal Olson: 00:32:41

Right. So that. One of the things I encourage parents to do is figure, you know, Come talk to me about this process.

Learn the process so that you can teach it to your children and that will lead them to being able to improve their lives early.

Kristina: 00:33:04

Absolutely. And that is so important because like, you know, we're family centered.

You're family centered is all about making sure our children have the tools and the instincts and the understanding of their intuition that they know when something is not quite right and how to help fix it or help get help with that. Yeah.

Herb: 00:33:21

And one of the things that I kind of learned through the process that I went through is, is addiction isn't usually the problem. Addiction is usually a symptom of the problem or actually a temporary fix for the problem they're having.

So they have a problem and this substance, this action, this whatever it is that they've got going on fills in that hole that's in them. So part of, part of how you grew out of it is you had yourself a mission and you grew and you improved and it, and it became so a sense of purpose.

So it filled in those holes that those, that those chemicals filled in previously.

Mykal Olson: 00:34:00

That's exactly right. Because there is often a misconception about what is addiction. And addiction is not, in my estimation, a disease.

Because even the addiction community says that what addiction is, is a chronic brain disorder. Meaning it has to do with our brain, not what we're putting into it, not what our decisions are, it's our mental health.

Every, every addiction issue that I have gone through and experienced is because it comes from some scar that we have that is not dealt with, that is not healed. And what we do is do addictive things to medicate ourselves.

Even if it's an action, the action creates a different brain chemistry that helps us cope with it, but doesn't heal. It doesn't solve the problem. We're just self medicating because we don't know how to overcome it.

And that's what I try to do, is help people to heal those issues so that they can make those different choices.

Herb: 00:35:47

Yeah, that's one of the reasons that a lot of people take their children out of school as well is because the school has diagnosed their child as adhd because they, they're young boys and they can't sit still in the classroom. So they start putting them on Ritalin and Adderall, which are basically forms of legal methamphetamines.

And so then when they get out of school and they're released into society and their Adderall and stuff is taken away because they don't have to sit still anymore, then they have this hole in their life. So again, there's a. There's a lot of ways to come at it and help people. So it's like, yeah, our. Our society right now is creating the issue.

You know, so many. So many people right now have this problem, and it's becoming an epidemic. And we really need to figure out.

Kristina: 00:36:38

How to maybe ask about your schooling. Where did you like school? Was it something that you enjoyed or did you have trouble in school?

Mykal Olson: 00:36:47

I managed to graduate the middle of my class with a. A C average. Thanks very much in part to Mount St. Helens eruption.

Kristina: 00:36:59

Huh.

Mykal Olson: 00:37:01

I had an English paper that was due. I had, of course, had procrastinated to the point where I was the last day that I could sit and do the thing.

,: 1980

Kristina: 00:37:19

Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:37:20

I woke up and, wow, the sky is gray.

Herb: 00:37:23

Why?

Mykal Olson: 00:37:24

And I go in, watch the tv. Mount St. Helens had blown up. This was in Montana. So we got covered in ash and schools were closed for three days. I got my paper done.

Kristina: 00:37:36

Yeah.

Herb: 00:37:40

So Mount St. Helens had a yay aspect to it.

Kristina: 00:37:44

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So have you continued your education, like, whenever you were learning about when you ever had some extra time?

Mykal Olson: 00:37:55

Yeah. I went and got myself a degree in accounting and finance. With a minor in information systems development. I created a career.

I actually became an international business consultant and a corporate controller and threw it all away. So I caution people, doesn't matter how successful you are or where you think you are in life, those things can take you.

You just have to listen to what's going on in your life and start to evaluate it for the potential that you need to make some changes.

Herb: 00:38:30

So another interesting aspect is, as I started recovering, my spirituality became a lot more important to me. How. How important in your recovery did spirituality become?

Because I know there's a lot of different addiction recovery programs where it's like, key. I didn't necessarily go through that, but again, that aspect of my life became a lot more important.

Mykal Olson: 00:39:00

It became important to me. It was important before, but the fact that I reconnected with it even after all the destruction that I did.

One of the things I went through that helped me in my recovery was a program that I did within the chapel, which was a. A program that was created by a pastor. Robert Stevenson, I believe. No, Robert Lewis. And it was called the Quest for Authentic Manhood.

And one of the problems I'd always had is I had wanted my father to really teach me what it is to be a man. But my father came from that old school, the strong, silent type. He modeled behaviors, but he would never talk about them.

He would never talk about emotions or anything like that. So this program helped me to deal with the fact that I desperately wanted that. Never got it.

And so I kind of had this relationship with him that was not as pleasant as I would have liked. But a lot of it was Bible teachings that said, here's what the basis is for being a good, authentic man.

What I did with that is there was a chart in there that showed four different parts of what it is to be a man. I took that and I ran with it because it was like a simple, simple chart. Four sections. You had to have the. The judgment relationship.

You had to have the go out and earn aspect. You had the per. Where you have to study and seek truth in one part and then your relationships in the other.

I created this chart that has everything in it that you can possibly encounter. And your character is shown in each one of those parts and in the very center, if you balance it properly, that is where wisdom lives.

So your goal is to go find those characteristics and balance it so that you can have wisdom. Because I had never thought that I would be wise. All of my report cards growing up said uses. Does not use time wisely. Because the adhd, which was.

Yeah, I was all over the place. Especially my focus was all over the place. So I had those. Every single report card from the time I started school until I left school.

So I thought I would never be wise. But because of the program, the spirituality, the looking into it and investigating it, doing a study of it, I figured out this is what wisdom is.

Now I teach it in workshops. So that.

Kristina: 00:42:40

Oh, that's.

Herb: 00:42:40

A lot of people exchange intelligence for wisdom, and they're not the same thing.

There's some very intelligent people that aren't very wise at all, and some very wise people that have zero book learning and education, but they move through life with. With grace and ease. That just.

Kristina: 00:42:59

Yeah. And this also shows the power of our words. Right. We're talking about families, we're talking about our kids.

Mykal Olson: 00:43:05

Yes.

Kristina: 00:43:05

Listen and pay attention to how you put things to them. Right? How you say things, how you phrase things. Because they'll hear it. And if they heard it the wrong way, they're gonna.

That's what they're gonna keep. I'm not. I'm never gonna be wise. I'm never gonna be smart. I'll never understand math, etc just because of something that was said so you can't.

You can't gloss coat everything and make everything puppy dogs and rainbows, but you can absolutely be careful not to put those seeds that will have those long ranging effects.

Herb: 00:43:36

Yeah, mine was. Mine was. He has so much potential, but he doesn't do anything with it. So me, I was never going to live up to my potential, so.

Mykal Olson: 00:43:44

Exactly right. But again, that goes back to the first thing we're talking about.

Kristina: 00:43:48

Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:43:49

What we accept the meaning of something was not what was meant, but what we took on as what it meant. And if we can change that perception, we can change that communication that we have in the back of our mind.

We can reprogram the subconscious mind to not have that same thought. Because wait a minute. My teachers did not mean for me to think I would not become wise.

They were just pointing out something that my parents needed to know but couldn't figure out how to deal with.

Kristina: 00:44:32

Exactly.

Herb: 00:44:33

Some of the latest brain science studies out there is that humanity, human, we learn through stories and we. We retain our knowledge through stories. So the facts and stuff that come at us are not nearly as important as the stories do.

So the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves, the stories that we hear about ourselves are so much more impactful than the actual facts about us. If we hear it in a story, the way it lands is so much more important. So the stories that you hear about yourself, that you're telling yourself that.

That you hear other people saying, it's like that is so very important. So first you have to change your own story.

Mykal Olson: 00:45:17

Yes. And your vision that comes from it, because your subconscious mind takes everything into visions.

It's a movie that we record in our subconscious mind, which is why things like what I got back there, that vision board, that's something I look at every day. So I can change what my perception of the vision I will be.

Herb: 00:45:43

Yeah.

Mykal Olson: 00:45:43

Because I'm putting that into my subconscious mind every day.

Kristina: 00:45:46

Yeah. And that story that we're sharing. Thank you.

That's why we do this podcast, is share these inspiring stories to share these ideas that parents can take and then put into their family lives and really help them grow and help their children be happy, healthy, and successful. Successful. So, Michael, this has been a wonderful conversation. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you for being vulnerable with us because it's not easy to sit here and share the ups and downs of your life and things like that. So I really appreciate all of that.

Herb: 00:46:15

Yes. Thank you for being here. So many people, when they hit that wall and they climb out of that Hole.

They're just so happy to be out that they just keep silent. But you, excuse me, you, wow, not only crawled out, but you're help shining the light. You're reaching out and pulling people out of it with you.

And that is such a rare trait to be to be sent down into the depths of that darkness and not only to climb out, but to start pulling other people with you. That's. That's the classic hero journey. And you, my friend, are a hero.

You went out and you fought your dragon and, and you came home successfully to the village and you're sharing your story and helping people. So thank you for being here. Thank you for what you do. It's so important, especially nowadays with the addictions out there just running rampant.

So thank you for being here.

Mykal Olson: 00:47:12

Yeah, thank you. And I hope to be able to help other fathers become the heroes for their family.

Kristina: 00:47:18

And in that spirit, would you please share your information, make sure the fathers know how to get a hold of you so that they can get the help that they need.

Mykal Olson: 00:49:04

Well, the website they can reach to take a look at it is the lifeforge.com if you want a free ebook that's designed to help you look at some questions, get some answers, bust those myths would be the lifeforge.com forge free book, and that can help you in the process.

But if you just want to start having a conversation, send me an email supporthelifeforge.com and we'll start a conversation and we see if you can help you and your family going into the future.

Kristina: 00:49:50

Absolutely love it. And all of that information will be in the show notes, so don't worry if you didn't quite get it. Hopefully you wrote it down.

But if not, check the links below and you'll be able to get a hold of Michael again. Michael, thank you so much for being here today. Was there anything that we didn't get to that you really wanted to put out there today?

Mykal Olson: 00:50:10

No, I think we had a great conversation and who knows, maybe we can have some more conversations in the future.

For instance, I want to do a summit sometime later this fall that is specifically designed for having a bunch of speakers come talk to fathers to help them with other things besides what I talk about.

Kristina: 00:50:33

Excellent. We will make sure we look for that. And because this is an evergreen, the podcast is always here.

Whenever you get that information, send it over and we can add it to all the show links and stuff down below. All right, Michael, thank you again so much for being here. We appreciate you and your time and audience, you know what to do.

It's time to share, like, subscribe all all of that good stuff and make sure that you share, share, share. Because guess what? There are families out there who need exactly what Michael was saying today.

There are families out there who are looking for that little gold nugget that we've dropped today that will change their life for their family and for their.

Herb: 00:51:08

Yeah, this might not necessarily be a gold nugget today, but a parachute for somebody who is in desperate need of help and just. And isn't to the point of showing it yet. So share this. Get the help out there. You know, it's.

Sometimes it's invisible and you don't know who actually needs to hear this, so.

Mykal Olson: 00:51:26

All right, everybody, if you share it with people that you don't think need it, you'll be surprised how many secretly need it.

Kristina: 00:51:34

Awesome piece of wisdom right there. Thank you so much. All right, audience, bye for now.

Herb: 00:51:39

Have a great day.

Mykal Olson: 00:51:40

Thank you.